Funeral Speeches For your parent or yourself

The most important funeral speech you'll ever have to give is for a parent. Sometimes this is what makes people join Toastmasters International which trains speakers, the thought that they will have to give a speech at a wedding or funeral. When you hear that your parent is terminally ill, or one of them dies and you want to give a speech for another.

If you give a brief summary of your parent's life on every birthday dinner, they have a chance whilst they are still alive and healthy to update you and correct you about details of their life. 

I gave my late father a grandfather's book to fill in. This remains an enduring record of his life for me to consult when making a speech or writing my family history.
   

Add humour, to any speech. On sad occasions, humour helps to lighten the mood. I just reversed that sentence to end it on the positive note. Your first draft of a speech may start with happy memories and end with sad regrets. You can go through it and say the same things, but ending positively. 

Start writing at regular intervals. Your wedding speech should summarise your life so far.
Then a ruby wedding speech to update.
Leave, with your will, an account of your life.    

If you are concerned that close relatives might find you are being irreverent and inappropriate, you might like to quote one of two famous poems, by Christina Rossetti and (attributed to) Elizabeth Frye. 

Useful Websites

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Do_Not_Stand_at_My_Grave_and_Weep

A couple of wonderful uplifting poems from Christina Rossetti

Up Hill

Does the road wind up hill all the way?
       Yes, to the very end.
Will the day's journey take the whole long day?
       From morn to night, my friend.

But is there for the night a resting-place?
       A roof for when the slow dark hours begin?
May not the darkness hide it from my face?
       You cannot miss that inn.

Shall I meet other wayfarers at night?
       Those who have gone before.
Then must I knock, or call when just in sight?
       They will not keep you standing at that door.

Shall I find comfort, travel-sore and weak?
       Of labour you shall find the sum.
Will there be beds for me and all who seek?
       Yea, beds for all who come.

— By Christina Georgina Rossetti^[16]

Song
When I am dead, my dearest,
 Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
 Nor shady cypress tree:
Be the green grass above me
 With showers and dewdrops wet:
And if thou wilt, remember,
 And if thou wilt, forget.

I shall not see the shadows,
 I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the nightingale
 Sing on as if in pain:
And dreaming through the twilight
 That doth not rise nor set,
Haply I may remember,
 And haply may forget.

I have updated the language to make it easier for myself to read without stumbling over the words:

When I am dead, my darlings,
 Sing no sad songs for me;
No need to plant roses at my head,
 Nor spend on a shady tree:
Just let the green grass above me
 With showers and dewdrops get wet:
When it makes you happy, remember,
While it makes you sad, just forget.

Because I shan't see your shadows,
 I shall not feel the rain;
I shall not hear the any good or bad
 Celebrate, commiserate minor pain:
When you are dreaming through the twilight
 The sun will still rise nor set,
May you remember our happy times,
 As for the sad ones, (just) forget.

-ends-

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